Helping Friends With Money Worries. StepChange (2024)

Thousands of people are struggling with living costs. Many of us will watch it happen to people we care about.

It can be hard to talk about money. But there are things you can do to help a friend in need.

To support a friend with money worries:

• Look out for the warning signs of debt
• Talk about money worries
• Provide reassurance
• Be supportive but take care of yourself too

Spot the debt warning signs

Fewer than one in three people will ask for help with debt.

We may try to pretend everything is fine until something big happens.

This can be a 'tipping point' like:

• An emergency expense
• Threatening letters
• Court action
• A sudden life change like
• Job loss
• Illness
• Bereavement
• New baby
• Rising bills

It can still be hard to ask for help after the tipping point too.

Keep an eye out for these ten ‘red flags’ in friends:

1. They have been in debt before

Debt is hard to escape from. New ones can build up while you try to pay off another.

Look out for any mention of their overdraft – it is a common debt that is hard to get out of.

2. They had a recent loss of income

Obvious examples of reduced income include:

• Redundancy
• Illness
• Divorce
• Bereavement

3. They live beyond their means or overspend

They always have new things but no money.

4. They seem anxious, withdrawn or depressed

Living in debt has a huge impact on mental health.

Your friend might:

• Stop calling
• Say they cannot go out
• Panic if you suggest doing something

When you do see them, notice their mood and habits.

• Are they eating?
• Do they seem rested?
• Are they distracted?

5. They seem secretive

Are they avoiding something?

You may notice they don't want to talk about:

• Money
• Plans
• The future

6. They change their spending habits

You might notice they spend less by:

• Not going out
• Ordering the cheapest thing on the menu
• Only buying things on sale
• You might also notice that they overspend like:


• Putting big things on credit cards
• Ordering lots of Buy Now Pay Later items

7. They change their transport habits

• Have they sold their car?
• Do they only take the bus now?
• ;Are they walking everywhere?

8. They seem tired

Trouble sleeping is a common symptom of debt stress.

Signs include yawning and rubbing their eyes, but also:

• Trouble focusing
• Grumpiness
• Sluggishness

9. Unopened bills

Letters from creditors can be scary. Many people stop opening them.

10. You stop seeing them

Having a friend avoid you or stop taking your calls is a big red flag.

Being in debt carries a lot of shame. This can make people cut off.

It hurts, but people often withdraw when they need support the most.

Keep talking about debt

There is a lot of social stigma around debt.

It is scary to talk about, but we need to talk about it.

Help your friend by starting a conversation.

• Who would they feel safe talking to?
• Has anyone else noticed what you have?

You can bring it up casually because money worries are normal.

Talking about debt can:

• Take some pressure off
• Let them know they are OK
• Inspire them to find help

Show them they are not alone

More people face debt problems every day.

Our real life debt stories, from people who changed their lives, may encourage your friend to ask for help.

We help thousands each week.

We offer:

• Independent and non-judgemental debt advice
• Support to take back control of finances

Be supportive but look after yourself

You may want to help, but you need to know you can afford to.

Lots of our clients fall into debt by lending to friends and family who cannot pay them back.

You have to look after your own finances too.

If a loved one asks you to be a guarantor on a loan, explain that:

• You do not want debt to ruin your relationship
• You still love them
• You want to help in other ways

Worrying about people we love takes a toll on own mental health too.