Being ‘mother’: What the Gen Z expression venerating maternal figures really means (2024)

The hardest part about understanding why people speak the way they do is that the meaning of certain words can change with the wind. Despite institutional efforts to document language, there are always countless expressions and significances that — either because they are too new, or because they are used by a community that is little understood by academia — sprout and spread without official sanction.

For some time now, words like “father” and “mother” have served as two paradigmatic examples. In 2016, Spanish content creator Ibai Llanos tweeted, “Shaquille O’Neal es mi puto padre” (Shaquille O’Neal is my f*cking father). Was Llanos signaling that there is some kind of paternal-filial relation between himself and the former NBA player? Hardly. Rather, despite this use’s lack of recognition by the country’s linguistic authority, the Royal Spanish Academy (RAE), Llanos was using the term “father” to signify that he likes O’Neal, that he finds him worthy of admiration. Today, used in such convoluted phrases as “mother is mothering,” the words are used to indicate a person who has reached the highest degree of excellence.

As words appear and disappear, it can be difficult to assign them definitive explanations. Nonetheless, they leave clues. In 1997, Black trans woman Crystal LaBeija founded the House of LaBeija in New York City. It is generally believed that the house gave birth to ball culture’s system in which the racialized, homeless LGBTI youth who performed at its events were ‘adopted’ by people like LaBeija, who became maternal figures. The “mothers” were in charge of managing the house and taking care of their disciples. It was here that the term was first used in the sense that concerns us. It was later used in drag culture to refer to those who acted as mentors for younger individuals, as references worthy of imitation and admiration. And now, it is also used to signal the presence of an empowered feminine figure. For example, when Beyoncé appears on television, networks are often flooded with fans who define her by a single word: “Mother!”

In a book by anthropologist Esther Newtown titled Mother Camp: Female Impersonators in America (1972), this phenomenon is explored: “Mothers are drag artists who take on the task of teaching, guiding and protecting people who are getting their start in their world, sharing their wisdom, experience and advice with their baby drags, as are called the art form’s novices, independently of their age; those who help others to develop their identity.” Within the context of the era’s LGBTQ+ people in the United States, it became easier to explain the importance the queer scene through these mothers, who functioned as a mechanism for creating community and safe spaces for socialization.

From there, we turn to a video published by Buzzfeed on social media, in which actress Sydney Sweeney attempts to explain to an older man what the expression means:

—Well it’s like, Taylor Swift is mother.

—I still don’t get it.

—Beyoncé is always mothering.

—Mothering — are you maternal? Or are you mom? Like, queen?

—It’s similar to queen, but we say mother now.

The linguistic trend has even gone international. According to a study by Babbel, 60.5% of Spaniards older than 40, which is to say, Generation X and older, have difficulty understanding the slang of younger generations. The report also states that 88% of Gen Z regularly use words, expressions or acronyms that come from the English language.

In any case, regardless of the term’s origin, there is a clear winner in this situation: the mothers and fathers, who at one point were referred to as “my old lady” or “the old man,” and who today are seen as the ultimate in what young people aspire to be. The journalist and writer Mar Abad sums up these processes in her book De estraperlo a #postureo: cada generación tiene sus palabras (From bootleg to #poser: each generation has its own words): “The linguistic mark of each generation leads us to see the lexicon as one of few available time machines available today. An era’s very words are the photograph of a historic moment. Vocabulary speaks of the values, customs and ideals of each era.”

The explanation refers to the fact that language evolves constantly, and each generation has its own repertoire of expressions, terms and references that it uses to communicate with its environment. Not even today’s mothers are the same mothers of drag culture from 40 years ago.

The former language and literature professor, philologist and journalist David Vázquez adds another interesting question to the matter: “This reappraisal of mothers and fathers comes at the hand of a generation that is perceived as disrespectful. How many articles have been written over the last years about how young people have lost their respect for authority figures? Well, it turns out that, for these same young people, the best one can do with their life is to ‘mother’, which is to say, act like a father or mother. Vázquez says that, on the other hand, although the dictionary may not recognize these meanings, it’s only a matter of time until academics are forced to comply: “(In Spain), the verb padrear (from the Spanish word for father, padre) exists, but with its old meaning, that of someone who seems like one’s father. And madrear (of the Spanish word for mother, madre) is a way to assault someone in Mexico. If these uses of the words continue, sooner or later, they’ll have to be looked at.”

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